Themselves vs Themself can confuse learners, but context, subject, and usage rules help you choose the correct reflexive pronoun in modern English. The difference between themselves and themself becomes clearer when you look at the subject, sentence, and clause.
In traditional grammar, themselves is the reflexive form linked with plural subjects, while themself can appear with singular they, a gender-neutral pronoun used in real communication. English changed and evolved over time, so modern English writing now allows more flexible usage in certain contexts.
Themselves remains the standard, widely accepted, and common choice in standard English, while themself is a real word found in dictionaries and modern usage. Its themself meaning is a singular reflexive form connected with singular they. The choice depends on the case, context, and intended meaning.
Quick Answer
Here is the simplest rule.
Use themselves with plural antecedents. Use themself when a singular they is the best fit, especially in modern inclusive writing.
| Word | Usual use | Standard status | Example |
| themselves | plural people or groups | fully standard | The students introduced themselves. |
| themself | singular they | accepted in some contexts | Each person should ask themself what matters most. |
If you remember one thing, remember this: themselves is still the safe default for plural reference, while themself can work with singular they when context calls for it.
What “Themselves” Means
Themselves is a reflexive pronoun. That means it points back to the subject of the sentence. It often shows that the subject and object are the same people.
For example:
- The guests prepared themselves for the meeting.
- The players blamed themselves after the loss.
- They taught themselves how to code.
In each case, the subject does something to or for the same people mentioned earlier.
How “Themselves” Works
Themselves usually appears in two common roles:
Reflexive use: The action comes back to the subject.
Example: The children dressed themselves.
Emphatic use: It adds stress, but the sentence still makes sense without it.
Example: The manager herself handled the complaint.
If the sentence uses themselves for emphasis, the word still points back to the subject.
Why It Is the Default Choice
For most writers, themselves is the safest option because it is familiar and widely accepted. It works clearly with plural subjects and avoids confusion in almost any context. If you are writing an essay, article, email, or report and the subject is plural, themselves is usually the right answer.
What “Themself” Means
Themself is a reflexive form connected to singular they. It exists because English needed a natural way to refer back to a person when the gender is unknown, irrelevant, or intentionally nonbinary.
Examples:
- Someone should ask themself that question.
- A person can prepare themself for the interview.
- Each guest needs to decide for themself.
The key idea is simple. When the subject is grammatically singular but the pronoun they is being used, themself can appear as the matching reflexive form.
Why This Word Exists
English has long used singular they in real speech. People say things like:
- Someone left their umbrella.
- Everyone should bring their own notebook.
For years, writers often used themselves in those cases, even when the antecedent was singular. Many readers accepted it because it sounded natural enough. But as singular they became more common and more accepted, writers needed a matching reflexive form. That is where themself comes in.
The Key Difference Between Themselves vs Themself
The difference is mostly about number and style.
| Feature | Themselves | Themself |
| Number | plural | singular |
| Commonness | very common | less common |
| Best with | plural antecedents | singular they |
| Formal writing | standard and safe | accepted in some contexts |
| Reader familiarity | high | growing |
| Main risk | overuse in singular cases | looks unfamiliar to some readers |
The Practical Rule
Use themselves when you are talking about more than one person.
Use themself when you are talking about one person through singular they and the context supports that choice.
That is the cleanest way to think about it.
When to Use Themselves
Use themselves in these situations:
- When the subject is plural
- When the subject is a group
- When the subject includes two or more people
- When you want the safest, most traditional form
- When your audience may prefer conventional grammar
Examples of Themselves in Real Sentences
- The engineers presented themselves confidently.
- The cousins packed themselves into the car.
- The teachers reminded themselves to stay calm.
- The authors described themselves as beginners.
- The athletes pushed themselves through the final lap.
A Useful Test
Ask one quick question: Am I talking about more than one person?
If the answer is yes, themselves is usually the correct choice.
When to Use Themself
Use themself when singular they is the subject and you need a reflexive pronoun that matches it.
Good Situations for Themself
- You do not know the person’s gender.
- You are writing in a gender-neutral style.
- A person uses they/them pronouns.
- You want to keep singular agreement consistent.
- You are writing for an audience that accepts modern usage.
Examples of Themself in Real Sentences
- If a student feels overwhelmed, they should remind themself to breathe.
- Someone in that role should ask themself what success means.
- Each person must prepare themself before the interview.
- A guest can introduce themself at the start of the event.
Why Writers Use It
Writers choose themself because it solves a real problem. English needs a reflexive form that matches singular they without forcing awkward wording. Saying themselves in every singular-they sentence can feel slightly off to careful readers. Themself gives the sentence a cleaner match.
Is Themself Grammatically Correct
Yes, in modern English, themself is grammatically defensible in the right context.
That does not mean every editor will prefer it. It does mean the word is real, recognized, and increasingly common in written English. Some style guides and dictionaries accept it, while others still treat it cautiously. That split explains why writers often feel unsure.
Why the Debate Still Exists
The debate comes from two competing instincts.
One instinct says grammar should preserve traditional forms.
The other says grammar should reflect actual language use.
English usually ends up doing both. It keeps the older form for broad use and slowly admits newer forms when enough writers use them naturally.
Why Many Writers Still Prefer Themselves
Even with themself on the table, many editors still prefer themselves. That happens for a few simple reasons.
Familiarity
Readers know themselves well. It does not interrupt the flow of a sentence.
Editorial consistency
Many style teams want one clear standard across all content.
Traditional teaching
Most grammar lessons still introduce themselves first and treat themself as secondary.
Tone and audience
Some audiences expect conservative grammar. In those settings, themselves may feel safer even when the subject is singular.
Themselves vs Themself in Everyday Writing
The right choice often depends on the kind of writing you are doing.
| Type of writing | Best choice | Why |
| school essay | themselves | most teachers expect it |
| news copy | themselves | standard and clear |
| inclusive website copy | themself or themselves | depends on style policy |
| casual conversation | either | speech is flexible |
| formal report | themselves unless singular they is required | keeps tone consistent |
| personal bio | themself if it matches identity | respects pronoun choice |
A Simple Example
Compare these two sentences:
- Each participant must bring themselves a snack.
- Each participant must bring themself a snack.
The second sentence better matches singular they, but the first still appears in some writing because many people have learned to use themselves as the default reflexive form. That is why context matters so much.
Case Study: Choosing the Right Word in Real Life
Imagine a company writes this line for a training page:
“Each employee should remind themselves to lock the screen.”
A style editor asks whether themselves is the best choice. The company has three options:
- Keep themselves because it is familiar and accepted.
- Rewrite the sentence to avoid the reflexive altogether: “Each employee should remember to lock the screen.”
- Change it to themself if the organization uses singular they consistently.
The best choice depends on the house style. If the goal is maximum clarity for a wide audience, the rewrite may be strongest. If the goal is grammatical consistency with singular they, themself may fit better. If the goal is conservative standard usage, themselves wins.
This is the real-world lesson: grammar is not only about rules. It is also about audience, tone, and purpose.
Common Mistakes with Themselves vs Themself
Writers usually make a few predictable mistakes.
Using Themselves with a Clearly Singular Subject
Example:
❌ Each child should ask themselves what they want.
This appears often, but some editors prefer a singular match such as themself or a rewrite.
Better options:
- Each child should ask themself what they want.
- Each child should ask what they want.
Forcing Themself Where It Sounds Awkward
Example:
❌ The team prepared themself for the tournament.
That is wrong because team is plural in meaning here. Use themselves.
Correct:
- The team prepared themselves for the tournament.
Ignoring the Subject
Some writers focus on the nearest noun instead of the real subject. That can cause agreement problems.
Example:
❌ One of the players said they should help themselves.
The sentence may need a rewrite for clarity:
- One player said they should help themselves.
- One of the players said the group should help itself.
Read More: Mine as Well, Might as Well, or Mind as Well? Which One Is Correct?
Themselves vs Themself in Style and Tone
Grammar is not always the only factor. Style matters too.
Themselves tends to sound more traditional and familiar.
Themself tends to sound more modern and more aligned with singular they.
That difference can change the tone of a sentence. For example, in a formal policy manual, themselves may feel stable and predictable. In a modern inclusive website, themself may feel more accurate and respectful.
The best grammar choice is the one that matches both the sentence and the reader.
Quick Comparison Table for Fast Reference
| Situation | Best choice |
| more than one person | themselves |
| unknown person with singular they | themself |
| nonbinary person who uses they/them | themself if preferred |
| formal writing with plural antecedent | themselves |
| sentence can be rewritten to avoid the issue | rewrite the sentence |
A Few More Real Examples
Here are short examples that show how the two words behave.
Themselves
- The neighbors introduced themselves.
- The workers organized themselves quickly.
- The children found themselves lost in the crowd.
- The authors marketed themselves online.
Themself
- A person should trust themself.
- Each traveler must prepare themself.
- If someone wants privacy, they should protect themself.
- Every student deserves to express themself clearly.
These examples show the pattern in a practical way. Themselves points to plural subjects. Themself follows singular they.
What Grammar Guides Usually Care About
Different style systems make different choices, but most of them care about three things:
- clarity
- consistency
- audience expectation
If your writing is for school, a teacher may still prefer themselves in many places. If your writing is for a publication or brand with an inclusion policy, themself may be preferred in singular-they contexts. If your goal is general clarity and you can avoid the issue entirely, rewrite the sentence.
That final option is often the strongest one.
Final Rule You Can Trust
Here is the easiest way to remember the difference:
Use themselves for plural subjects. Use themself for singular they when that form fits the person, the sentence, and the style guide.
If you still feel unsure, rewrite the sentence so it does not depend on a reflexive pronoun at all. That trick often saves time and prevents awkward grammar.
FAQs:
Is “themself” grammatically correct?
Yes. Themself is a real English word and can be used as a singular reflexive pronoun, especially with singular they. However, themselves remains much more common in standard English.
When should I use “themselves”?
Use themselves when the antecedent is plural. For example: “The students prepared themselves for the exam.” It can also appear with singular they in many contexts, depending on the style and meaning.
When should I use “themself”?
Use themself when referring to one person with singular they, particularly when you want the reflexive form to clearly match the singular meaning. For example: “Someone should remind themself to check the details.”
What is the difference between “themselves” and “themself”?
The main difference is number and usage. Themselves traditionally refers to plural subjects, while themself can refer to a singular person represented by they. Modern English allows some overlap, so context matters.
Which is more common, “themselves” or “themself”?
Themselves is far more common and remains the safer choice in most standard and formal writing. Themself has a narrower use, but its presence in dictionaries and modern usage shows that it is not simply a grammatical error.
Conclusion:
The choice between themselves vs themself depends mainly on the subject, context, and style of writing. Themselves remains the established and widely accepted reflexive pronoun, especially for plural subjects, while themself has a useful role when singular they refers to one person. As English continues to change, understanding both forms helps you make a clear and appropriate choice instead of relying on one rigid rule.
